Inspired!

Psalm 42:5 ~ Why am I discouraged?  Why is my heart so sad?  I will put my hope in God!  I will praise Him again--my Savior and my God!

According to my study Bible, the theme of this Psalm is "thirst for God.  When you feel lonely or depressed, meditate on God's kindness and love."  The study notes for this verse read: Depression is one of the most common emotional ailments.  One antidote for depression is to meditate on the record of God's goodness to His people.  This will take your mind off the present situation as you focus your thoughts on God's ability to help you rather than on your inability to help yourself."  Do I hear an AMEN?!

Of course not.  When we are truly depressed we don't want to focus on the goodness given to us.  We are much more likely to wallow in our pity-party of one.

I am currently on my fifth read through of the Bible, and every time I read it, I read it with different eyes.  One night I giggled while reading the Old Testament story of Balaam and his donkey.  Balaam was summoned by King Balak, an enemy of Isreal, to come and call curses on the people of God.  Along the way, Balaam's donkey saw the angel of the Lord blocking their path and thrice tried to keep her master from encountering the angel's wrath.  Balaam saw the donkey's actions as defiance and beat her each time.  The third time, according to Numbers 22, the Lord gave the donkey speech to ask Balaam what she had done to deserve the beating.  "And Balaam answered the donkey..."  And that's where I lost it.  If I were to discipline my dog and he turned to ask me in plain English, "But Mooooooooooooooooooooooom, what did I do?"  I'm not going to answer him, I'm going to call the nut house.  This was the 4th time I had read the passage and never once read it with those eyes.

Now, on my fifth go through, my eyes are changed yet again.  Our small group is studying Psalms and when I came across 42 it spoke to me in a way I'd never heard before.  Off and on my entire adult life I have depended on medicine to control my depression.  Here the psalmist depended only on God.  I felt so small, so defiant for seeking something other than God to make me feel whole.  God made me this way, certainly He is all I need to be well and whole in body as well as in spirit.  I was convinced that I could get off of my meds with the Lord at my side.