One in a Million

If I had a nickle for every time I've heard, "Can your husband teach my husband how to do that?", I'd be independently wealthy.

I have been blessed with many gifts, not the least of which being a wonderful husband.  We have known each other more than 18 years, been together for 16 and married for 14.  When we got married I was 19 and he was 20, and everyone thought we were only getting married because we'd had a child.  On our 10th anniversary, we renewed our vows, and on that day both sets of parents admitted to us that they never expected us to reach double digits.  My first thought was, "Thanks for the vote of confidence."  My second thought was, "Nah nah nah nah nah nah!"  Immature, I know, but they deserved it.

For all those years, my husband has faithfully been by my side.  He stuck with me through 3 years of severe depression, during which I almost killed our son twice, hit my husband in the head with a tea kettle, and contemplated suicide.  He has stuck with me through the messiest financial blunders, the craziest of my moods, and the most painful health issues.  When our life situations have gotten the ugliest, we have gotten each other through.  And we are stronger as individuals and as a unit for it all.

One of the many things that makes my husband so endearing is that he is one of the last of a dying breed ~ he is a romantic.  In our world of Women's Lib, chivalry is all but a lost art.  And being a strong-willed and fiercely independent woman myself, allowing chivalry to happen for me is not always easy.  But my hunny finds the small ways.  I often get texts just saying "I love you" or "been thinking of you" or " you are so hot!"  He has no problems being playful in the presence of others.  He will get a mischievous look in his eye and slap my bottom or tickle me.  He is always complimentary, even when I am least deserving.  And these are the little things that other women envy, wishing their own husbands were just a little more thoughtful, or just a little less reserved in the expression of their adoration.

I am frequently reminded how obvious it is that my husband adores me.  (And just as often I have to ask myself why, but that's another entry.)  We have one friend in particular who gets very uncomfortable when we are affectionate with each other is our silly ways.  "Will you guys cut it out?!", she will ask in exasperation. I keep reminding her that she's really just jealous because her husband isn't like this.  And she admits to it every time.  We've had other women tell us that it is almost embarrassing to watch the way my husband loves on me, but it's because they wish  their own husbands were so sweet.  I can't count how many people have told us that they want what we have in our relationship.

Which is a little disconcerting.  I don't particularly like being that kind of an example.  It means people are scrutinizing our relationship.  It means that there is pressure to perform now.  Sure people see and might be envious of the romantic stuff, but our life together has had it's rough spots, too.  But maybe that's all the more for people to wonder at.  Some major life changes have occurred during the years we've had together, and miraculously, the same changes that might weaken or crumble other marriages couldn't break ours.

Have you seen the movie "Hitch"?  Will Smith's character plays a dating consultant, giving advice to guys looking to woo the women they have fallen for.  It's all common sensical stuff, but it's little thoughtfulnesses and confidence builders that some guys just seem to forget.  I think my husband was the inspiration for this movie.  Maybe he should give a "Thoughtful Husbandry" workshop.  How many women do I know that would sign their husbands up for that class?!