A Weighty Subject

Since I was a teenager I have believed that I was born about 500 years too late.  Not only do I love Renaissance music, but the art is fantastic.  I absolutely love the models the great artists chose ~ real women.  Round, voluptuous, chubby ~ call them what you will, they were real, healthy women.  With perfect creamy pale porcelain skin they were the standard of beauty and desirability.

By stark contrast, today's seeming societal standard of beauty is exactly the opposite ~ scrawny, waif-like, hard-bodied and sun baked.  During the Renaissance era this body type was turned away from, being the look of poverty, hard work in the blazing sun.  The pale, round figure was much more desired being the symbol of wealth and lavish living.

Guess which category I fall into?

I have struggled with weight my entire life.  Of 3 kids, I was the chubby one.  Both my brother and sister were scrawny bean-poles growing up.  And they were relentless at times about pointing out my distinction.  I can't remember ever in my young or older adult life being a single-digit size.  My one saving grace ~ weight distribution.

Though I have been a plus-size for a decent chunk of my life, most people claim they didn't see it.  I see it every time I look in the mirror, try on a pair of jeans or swim suit, or need to be fitted for a bride's-maid dress.  The women on my maternal side are all built the same ~ they carry their extra weight in their bellies and butts, with stick legs and arms, looking pregnant when they are not.  God is so kind to spare me such a physique.  I, thankfully, am built more like the women on my paternal side ~ a little more squared-off, though carrying some extra padding around the butt and thighs.  Generally, I am a size smaller on the top half than on the bottom half, which is part of the reason why I buy nothing that is all one piece.  (The other part is that I have a long torso, so either the waist doesn't fall where it should or I have a permanent wedgie.)

Anyone remember Get In Shape Girl!?  I was probably one of their first customers.  I had every kit they made ~ the book, the audio cassettes (yes, this program is that old), the hollow dumbbells that you added water or sand to in order to customize your program, the jump-rope, the ribbon-wand ~ I had and religiously used every one.  And I was probably 10-years-old.  The war on weight begins young for most girls.  Is it any wonder so many of them end up with eating disorders?

And the war rages on.  The weapons have changed over the years ~ cycling, Nordic Track, running, kick boxing, Latin dancing, Zumba, weight training, South Beach Diet, calorie counting ~ you name it, I've probably tried it.  And at this writing I am still about 15lbs over weight and a size above where I was 18 months ago. 

Yo-yoing is such a treat.  I have bounced all over between a size 10 and 18.  I will start to make some real progress, feel pumped about loosing a few pounds... and then I either get sick or hurt myself, fall of the wagon and choke on the dust as it blazes off without me.  Catching up to it is hard enough, but getting back on is even harder, because by the time I get to it, it's doubled back to the starting line.

Despite it all, I am comfortable in my skin.  There is certainly room for improvement, and frustration is always with me, but being chubby isn't all bad.  My husband absolutely loves my body, just as it is.  In fact, he gets upset if my hind-side looses roundness when I ever do loose weight.  There are a great number of men out there, specifically within certain ethnic groups, that find the round, curvy female figure incredibly attractive.  One woman told me that her son-in-law was concerned that her daughter was loosing too much weight after having a baby.  Her daughter and I share a very similar build.

So take heart, all you who wage the weight war with me, and seek out men with (really) old fashioned standards.