Side Quests

The journey to wholeness continues. But seldom, if ever, is a journey a straight and easy path. What fun would that journey be anyway? And how would one become stronger if never under stress? The saga of any conqueror is full of side quests. At least, that's what Monty Python leads one to believe in The Quest for the Holy Grail.

My journey began at a doctor's appointment with the intent to find wellness. We discussed my cold sensitivity, my surmising about bipolar disorder, and the fact that my age dictates that I am past due for several unpleasant health screenings. A referral to a psychiatrist to more adequately assess bipolar disorder and a battery of lab work to investigate the cold sensitivity were granted without issue.

The result of the psychiatric assessment was treatment for hypomanic bipolar disorder. The gradual increase in the medication messed with me with every step up. The introductory dose caused a mid-day energy crash for several days. The moderate dose gave me wicked brain for almost 2 weeks. I was still dealing with the brain fog when it was time to step up to the current maintenance dose. The maintenance dose has plagued me with sleep interruptions and nightmares - because I need more help experiencing terrifying dreams during the far too little sleep I get on a good day. To make a crummy situation crappy, I don't feel any improvement in my mood with the medication.

As for the test results, all were within normal ranges. As were a second round, testing for less obvious reasons for cold sensitivity. Most likely, the cold sensitivity has more to due with my connective tissue disorder as there is a correlation between the disorder and nerve damage within the skin. So unstable joints and a heart murmur aren't enough for this fabulous condition. Now I get to be cold for the rest of my life. 

Now, Side Quest #1.

My mom has been experiencing pitting edema (swelling that leaves an imprint if pushed on with a finger) in one leg and foot for several months. She can't remember the last time she could actually see the bony part of her ankle and there's an area at the base of her toes that looks almost bruised, but she's had no known injury. After a lack of results from working with a podiatrist, she was referred to a neurosurgeon with the idea that her symptoms were stemming from damage within her spine. Her recent MRI did determine degenerative disc disease throughout the lumbar region of her spine. She has yet to attend her follow up appointment with the neuro, but the prognosis looks initially like surgery.

As was evident when Mom had shoulder surgery, my sister, who lives on the same street as our mother, has NO CLUE was to expect nor any idea how to care for Mom post-op.  I, who lives 2hrs away, was the one who took a week of FMLA to take care of Mom after her surgery. We are still waiting for the next step of this side quest to be revealed.

Side Quest #2

Our son in Texas has had a piece of shit week. In a 7 day stretch, the poor kid has called us multiple times in a panic and on the brink of a meltdown. Twice he was actually in the midst of a meltdown. To a point where I couldn't understand the words he was trying to say. We had to talk him back from the ledge each time. The short story is his car broke down several times in a single week and one of the repair guys did him dirty by installing a faulty radiator. $1400 and an awful lot of calming and reassuring later, he was then fired from his job for missing work due to his car. Truth be told, I know this kid and his personality - because it is exactly like mine - so I have no doubt that played a role. But the nitty gritty is that because he was melting down as a result of just not being able to deal with the stress of everything falling apart all at once, he no-call-no-showed and was let go. He did have an interview already scheduled for the next day, so there is hope. If you're a praying person, please add him to your list as he desperately needs something to go well for a change. We are still waiting for the next step of this side quest to be revealed.

Side Quest #3

I have had tingling in one arm intermittently, yet daily, for 5 months (as of the time of this writing.) I have experienced thoracic outlet syndrome twice before, and chiropractic care combined with deep tissue massage were able to resolve the issue within a few months. This tingling doesn't feel the same as TOS, and the chiropractic care and deep tissue work aren't making a dent. So I finally asked for a referral to my neurosurgeon, expecting imaging, an exam, and a recommendation for steroid shots.

Yeeeeeaaaaah. I'm never that lucky.

As anticipated, there was imaging, and more of a consult than an exam. The imaging was shocking, horrifying, and downright depressing. The abbreviated version is that I have degenerative disc disease throughout my entire spine, most significantly in my neck at 3 levels, as well as signs of arthritis in the same area, and the severe loss of disc height has lead to bony malformation (essentially bone spurs) of the vertebrae. The only real treatment? Cervical spinal fusion.

Yes, major surgery is the only option to truly correct the damage done. Unfortunately, because insurance companies dictate the flow of care instead of doctors and patients working together to determine the most reasonable path to wellness, I get to endure 6 weeks of physical therapy that in no way is able to improve nerve impingement due to spinal degeneration, as well as an EMG and NCT (I'll let you look those up.) Then, should PT prove unhelpful and the testing prove nerve issues, the insurance co MIGHT cover an MRI in order to determine that the tingling is, in fact, a result of destruction of spinal integrity and that conservative therapies were a 6 week waste of time.

And the best part? This is most likely due to my connective tissue disorder.

My fucking, life altering, enjoyment killing, freezing cold, never ending injury inducing, heart damaging, spine destructing connective disorder. How did I get so lucky?

Another fun aspect to this latest blow is that I know how this surgery is performed. I've done intra-op imaging for these cases - ironically, with the neurosurgeon I see. The only comfort is knowing how he functions in his OR - he is generally unrattled, even when the case goes less than smoothly, and he always does right by his patients. Those are reasons why I chose him. But in a gruesome nutshell, they slit your throat, move the trachea and esophagus over to one side, put spacers between the vertebrae where the discs used to be, then put a metal plate linking the damaged vertebrae together on the front of the bones. What's not to gleefully anticipate? 

However, we are still waiting for the next steps of this side quest to be revealed.