The week following this ordeal was not a pleasant one. My body was still exhausted, though functional. The dizziness of detoxing my meds was slow to leave me, as was the loopiness. Darkness still clouded my mind from time to time, and every now and then tears won their freedom. Yet, everyday was a little better. It seemed that Legion had retreated, at least for the time being.
Some days were better than others. One day at work I had messaged Josh in the afternoon saying I'd felt too loopy to drive home. He had borrowed my truck, and I don't like driving his car on a good day. I was worried that driving a vehicle I was somewhat unfamiliar with feeling the way that I was would have less than pretty results. But God is kind, and a block opened up in my schedule during which I could nap. The rest was just enough to get me home safely.
On my days off, youtube was my best friend, even though I wasn't watching. I was listening. Certain songs played in my head over and over during the previous weekend, and, of course, there was a reason. I connect with Christ most completely via music ~ it is also my strongest weapon against the enemy. You Won't Relent by Jesus Culture, Your Great Name by Natalie Grant, How He Loves Us by Kim Walker, and others were vital in keeping my sanity. What reciting the Lord's Prayer had done for my earlier battle, focusing on the lyrics of these songs did for my recovery ~ fought the darkness within. "Now the Spirit of the LORD had departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD tormented him...Whenever the spirit from God came on Saul, David would take up his lyre and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him." 1Sam 16:14, 23
At this writing it is almost 2 weeks since the beginning of this battle, and though I am still coping with physical symptoms of cold-turkey quitting ~ some days are still better than others ~ my heart and spirit have finally found a peaceful safe-harbor
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